


Never Stop Hoping

by ItFeelsLikeHome



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Heavy Angst, Longing, M/M, Sexy Aaron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 09:42:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12033291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItFeelsLikeHome/pseuds/ItFeelsLikeHome
Summary: Robert salivates and pines over a hot Aaron...Canon compliant and set now.





	Never Stop Hoping

Intent on picking up an Americano and a hummus and coriander sandwich, Robert had to stop in his tracks in the middle of the cafe. As soon as he felt Aaron’s presence in the building, his head swiveled round and…

Words were superfluous.

And even if he could speak, he didn’t know what he would say. 

His eyes flickered up and down Aaron’s body. 

Wow! It was such a inadequate word to describe Aaron but there was no other words he could think of to use instead. 

Aaron would always be without a doubt the sexiest person alive in Robert’s opinion; however, in these last few weeks he seemed to have become even more beautiful and handsome. So handsome that sometimes looking at Aaron meant that Robert knew his mouth was wide open and he needed to force it shut. If he didn’t snap it closed, he would be swimming in the drool that was escaping his mouth. 

Aaron’s lips were still kissable in that juicy plump way that Robert could never grow tired of, and they were parted with just the right amount of moisture that in the past Robert always had to wipe away with his tongue or his own lips. Aaron had trimmed his beard to a shorter length and the hair on his head was styled with a bit of gel at the front. However, his hair was gel-free at the sides and was well on its way to growing back naturally after having been close-shaved. He was sporting a tan that Robert was sure Aaron had probably picked up at the scrapyard. The tan complemented the grey grandad top he was wearing and made his skin glow. Robert wanted a lick or stroke of that skin.

Anything. Any touch that he could grasp at. 

But he knew he would get neither. 

In that moment, Robert couldn’t speak because the very sight of Aaron had winded him. 

How could Aaron look so beautiful after their break-up when Robert knew that the bags under his own eyes were getting darker and heavier with each passing day? 

Wishing that he hadn’t worn a jacket, Robert tugged at his shirt where it was sticking to his saturated back. How had it suddenly got hot in the cafe when only moments earlier he had shivered as he walked the short journey there from Keepers Cottage? But he knew that his rising temperature had nothing to do with the heat - or lack of - in the cafe. It was the arousal he felt deep inside which matched the way his trousers suddenly became tighter and more rigid over his growing stiffness. 

As Aaron walked over to him, Robert noticed a few strangers sat at a table in the corner - a man and two women - salivating over his husband. It didn’t matter that Aaron had ended their relationship two months ago. They were still husbands in Robert’s eyes and would always be. 

Aaron wasn’t aware of the effect he had on the three of them and Robert, as he didn’t bat an eyelid at any of their obvious staring. But that was Aaron through and through: he never realised how beautiful he really was. 

Robert gulped away the lump in his throat, quite aware that it would be the only hardness he could brush away easily. His gait towards Aaron was slower since it was uncomfortable walking with the hard-on he was intent on hiding. 

‘Hi. I’m about to get a drink and something to eat, if you want to join me.’ Robert knew he was an expert liar, and usually he couldn’t lie to Aaron; however, the facade that was a constant on his face as he spoke was superb in hiding his real feelings. Aaron wasn’t aware that Robert was becoming a pool of hot jelly sloshing around on the floor. His limbs had liquified and were dropping in gloops at Aaron’s feet. And it was all because of Aaron: how Aaron looked like a sexy pin-up on display in a magazine; how the very sight of Aaron made Robert feel like a teenager again; how every ounce of love that Robert felt for his husband - he never wanted to call Aaron an ex and couldn’t make himself do it then - was rattling against Robert’s chest and attempting to escape so that it could wrap its arms around Aaron and revel in his love and affection. 

Seeing Aaron and not being able to wrap his arms around Aaron’s waist, or kiss Aaron whenever he liked, made his body freeze. The urge to do all those things made him feel like he was left with a phantom limb: he could still feel the limb, but he couldn’t make himself touch Aaron. 

Aaron wasn’t his. 

The gravity of the situation had never been more obvious than in those moments where Robert longed to touch Aaron. He hadn’t realised how many times in one day they had touched: their arms brushing up in bed; a morning kiss; a ruffle of Aaron’s fluffy gel-free hair; morning sex as their bodies came together in their bed before they had a repeat performance in the shower. And those were only moments before they had breakfast. His usual day - before this nightmare had started - was filled with millions of little moments where he could touch Aaron. Freely. 

But that wasn’t his right anymore and that thought was a harsh blow to his stomach every time he contemplated it. It perforated his heart when he questioned Aaron’s well-being and happiness numerous times in a day - sometimes at ridiculous times in the morning. It had been midnight, half one and half three that morning when Robert wondered how Aaron was doing. However, Robert couldn’t turn to Aaron to check how he was and make sure he was okay. 

Aaron’s well-being had held the number one position in his thoughts and concerns for so long that he didn’t know how to turn it off. But then he supposed that Aaron had been his only thought and concern for so long that he was shocked to remember a time when Aaron hadn’t been in his life. 

He didn’t want to not be consumed with thoughts of Aaron. 

Aaron was his world. No past tense about it. Aaron would always be his world. He didn’t want to move on from Aaron and even if he did, Robert doubted that he would be able to. Actually, he didn’t doubt it. He knew that he would never be able to move on. 

The concern for Aaron didn’t just happen in the morning, but at various points during the day. The urge to take out his mobile and ring Aaron wasn’t disappearing or lessening. It was stronger each day, and it hurt like his stomach had been lacerated millions of times before somebody poured alcohol all over it. 

‘I’ve actually got a busy day on at the scrapyard today, so I’ve only come in for a quick sandwich and tea.’

Robert didn’t mask his disappointment at Aaron’s response. Why should he mask it when all he wanted was Aaron? Any hopes that Aaron would take him back would only be successful, if he wore his heart on his sleeve. His heart may have been broken in two and missing because Aaron would always have part of it, but it was still beating faintly and yearning to be reunited with the other half. It also longed to feel Aaron’s heart beating next to his once more. 

‘Perhaps later?’ Robert felt himself asking again before the question had formulated in his brain. He’d never stop asking, never stop hoping for another chance with Aaron. He’d hope constantly until the last breath left his body. 

Aaron looked into his eyes. 

Heat swelled throughout the whole of Robert’s body while tears trickled out from his tear ducts. His jaw muscles moved as he tried to will the tears away. 

‘Maybe.’

There was no definite answer, but Robert grabbed it. There was hope there. He’d take anything from Aaron, if there was a possibility that they could be together again. 

Aaron gave him a small smile, and that smile and the way Aaron looked was the one thought that kept him focused when he jacked himself off in the shower later on that day. When his white stickiness spurted into his hands and was washed away by the falling water, it wasn’t the only falling thing that was being washed away by the shower. Salty tears also went down the plughole.

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments or feedback is greatly appreciated. :-)


End file.
